Ten Years Ago Today: Why Did I Get Married Opens in Theaters

Ten years ago today Why Did I Get Married hit theaters. 

A decade ago. Ten years. 1/10th of a century. 3 months in Trump years (Hey, I couldn’t resist.) 

Wow. How blessed am I to be apart of something that still gets played over & over and that has given me so much love over the years. 

And so, I’m in a reflective mood, and want to celebrate and honor this milestone with a little note from myself today to myself on this day ten years ago:

Dear Kaira,

Hey girl. It’s me. Well, you. From 10 years in the future.

I’m so freaking proud of you.

Remember how you went to the callback and all the other actresses there seemed like a perfect “baby mama drama” and you were like oh shit? And remember how that thought lasted for a millisecond and you then told yourself, well, I can only do it my way so I’m gonna go in there swinging? And remember how you did JUST THAT in the room with the legendary Reuben Cannon & the lovely Alpha Tyler?

And remember when you went on set & how big everything was & how tall Mr. Perry was & none of that mattered because you never felt small? Remember how you didn’t bat an eye when Mr. Perry asked you to go off script & just riff and see what happens? Remember how you didn’t overthink anything? 

Oh you tender young thing.  

Right now you have no idea how good you have it, how good you are, and how good God is. You kinda sorta take it for granted, but that’s ok. You’re young. That’s what you’re supposed to do.

And now that I’m 10 years ahead of you (still young, ahem), this is what I’m supposed to do.

I’m supposed to remember everything you taught me. I’m supposed to remember how to be free & fearless & go with the flow & trust myself & have fun & fuck. ing. kill. it. 

I am so freaking proud of you, Kaira. Thank you for helping me remember exactly who I am, who I’ve always been.  

Give me a call sometime and I can catch you up on alllllllllllll the things God has done and undone over the past ten years. I know, I know. You only have free minutes on your flip phone after 7pm. It’s cool. I’ll be here. 




An Affirmation for Black Artists in Mourning

How do we focus on our work after Alton, Philando, Tamir, Sandra, Michael, Eric, and too many more to name? Does our work even matter? I wrote this affirmation to hopefully help you get through. It's a small gift but it's what I have in this moment. Hope it helps you in some small way:

"I am a chosen messenger for these dark times. The heavy darkness has come now as the opening act for my light. I choose to affirm that my light is necessary, no matter how dark things may seem.

Yes, I will allow myself to mourn. But I will not grow weary. I will not succumb to helplessness. I will not feel small. I will keep practicing my gift, my courage, my self awareness, my purpose, my call to humanity. I will do this faithfully in the private places so that I will shine with bold truth and effectiveness on the public stage.

My divine wisdom tells me a shift is happening. I am part of a new tribe of messengers for a new time in the world. I claim my personal territory with my unique gifts, talents, and voice. I am part of the healing. I am a keeper of culture. I am a host of humanity. I am the answer to mourning.

Revival is inevitable. I am inevitable. This is not the end. This is the beginning. And though it feels I am in the middle of an overwhelming storm, I will brave it by staying committed to creating stories, strategies, spaces, and systems that reach the heart, mind, and machine of injustice."

Say it everyday if you have to. Whatever you do, keep going. We need you.